I find myself crying a lot these days.
I know that sounds like a weird thing to start a blog off with, but it’s true. Four times in the last week if you can believe it.
And to be clear… when I say “crying”, I don’t mean making up my own language consisting of wailing baby noises and tonal nonsense interlaced with a sniveling snort or two. I’m talking about the feeling that wells up from the depths of every cell in your body. Extracting the very meaning of what it means to be alive, focusing it, and then discharging the resulting liquid onto unsuspecting rosy cheeks.
All of that… just from hearing the “Feed the Birds” song in “Mary Poppins”.
Or from watching an awkward son learn of his power to travel through time and, in the end, use it to re-live cherished father-son experiences weeks after his father dies from cancer in “About Time”. Or because, the death of an infant daughter causes irreparable damage to the relationship between two soul mates. Resulting in a tragic suicide. But also in the creation of a beautiful tattoo that binds the eternal love of the couple onto the skin of the dead wife in the “The Broken Circle Breakdown”.
None of that happened in real life… but it feels like it did.
Sometimes, I wish life were as simple as it is in the movies. Where each action, sublime as its existence may be, could be the pivotal moment in a character’s story. Actors, like marionettes, are brought to life at the hands of the Director’s vision. Hero’s are born from the slightest challenge to their ordinary existence. Villains are spawned when they succumb to society’s moral weaknesses and hijacked miscommunications.
There is no story in “real life”. Instead, there is only each moment, each decision, and each experience. Only when we’ve lived the entirety of our lives can our story be summed up, our efforts weighed, and our successes measured. We can never know the context to the ending of our own story. Therefore, we will never experience the tragic beauty of our last embrace.